Remarks at HKIS High School Commencement 2016

Good evening class of 2016. And congratulations. Here we are--After 13 years, thousands of class hours, and hundreds of valuable formative home learning experiences all that stands between you and graduation are two more speeches and 45 minutes of administrators reading out names. Then you are out of here: done with school, done with tardy slips and 7:50 am classes, done with dress code and the unexpected reintroduction of detention. Done with required courses and constant supervision; off to the unadulterated freedom of adult life with its near total personal control of one’s own sleep schedule, dietary choices, and screen time limits. No more pencils/ no more books/ no more teachers’ dirty looks, etc. etc.

But wait, wait, all of that is wrong. Popular, I’ll give you that, but wrong. You see, this is just the story we tell ourselves about graduation. It is a story of escape: escape from the repressive strictures of childhood and into the fulfillment and self-determination of adult life. Finally done with childhood, we imagine, you can now move forward with your real life. It’s a great story of growing up: the young kid escaping from a provincial life, with its restrictive and sometimes immoral rules, and striking out on her own to discover who she really is. It’s the story of Jay Gatz leaving behind North Dakota poverty to remake himself in New York; it is the story of Huckleberry Finn leaving behind a small, racist world to light out for the territory. This story of growing up as escape is the story of Easy Rider and, indeed, of the movie The Graduate itself. It’s Star Wars Episode 4, it’s The Wizard of Oz, and I am pretty sure it’s The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

And this isn’t just a fictional story, either. For, if the literary historian Richard Chase is to be believed, this is the story of America itself. It is the story of Pilgrims escaping a corrupt and restrictive church of England to found a new nation; it is the story of brave pioneers leaving fetid eastern cities to make new lives on the open plains; the story of African Americans fleeing Jim Crow to create in Harlem a new culture that would change the world. This is the story America tells about itself, and it is a great one--a story of escape, of self-realization, and of adventure.

But it’s all wrong for graduation. It’s all wrong because it gets growing up all wrong. It would be cool if adulthood was a process of increasing freedom but, in fact, that just isn’t the case. Rather, growing up, at least when it works well, is a journey not toward freedom but toward greater entanglement. If you live the fulfilled lives that I hope you do, far from escaping into total individual freedom you will find yourself taking on bigger tasks, shouldering greater responsibilities in more complex organizations. Many of you will voluntarily commit yourselves to professions like law, medicine, and education that treat their duties as almost religious obligations, complete with elaborate and medieval ceremonies of investiture, like this one. You will find yourself bound into a more complex web of familial and personal relationships, many of them extraordinarily demanding of your time and restrictive of your freedom. Indeed, some day many of you will find the greatest joy of your lives in the act of becoming parents, an act so devastating to basic human freedom that you may find yourself one day, a grown man responding to the repeated imperative “Daddy, Daddy,” with the pitiful whisper, “Can I just have 90 seconds to myself to use the bathroom?”

And those commitments will make for wonderful lives. For, I think, fulfillment comes from entanglement rather than escape. As the New York Times columnist David Brooks once put it, “Life comes to a point only in those moments when the self dissolves into some task. The purpose in life is not to find yourself. It’s to lose yourself.”

But that doesn’t make for a very good story. It’s certainly no Gatsby.

So let me try a story that gets closer to the truth. It’s a story of departure and adventure, but one with a different sense of what an adventure can be like.

Many of you will know that the first two humans to walk on the moon were Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. And many of you will also know that there was a third member of that Apollo 11 mission: Michael Collins. Collins’ story, though, is less often told, because the Apollo spacecraft were designed such that while two astronauts, the ones surely to be remembered for centuries to come, descended to the moon’s surface in the lunar lander, a third stayed behind, orbiting the moon in the Command Module. That third person on Apollo 11 was Michael Collins.

On July 20, 1969, after a 3-day trip from the earth to the moon, Armstrong and Aldrin entered the lunar lander. They separated from the command module and began their descent to the surface of the moon, taking with them the attention of the world and leaving Collins alone in the command module above.

Immediately things went wrong. Communication between the lunar lander and mission control back in Houston was terrible. You can listen to this on youtube and hear that neither party could make out at all what the other was saying--a considerable problem just minutes away from one of the most difficult technical feats ever accomplished by humans. Collins found himself taking on a mission that was nowhere in the flight plan, relaying instructions back and forth from Houston to the lander and trying to figure out how to reconfigure antennae in the meantime. But Collins knew his ship like the back of his hand, and he made it work. The lunar lander continued its descent and, after some of the most dramatic moments in the history of human travel, landed on the moon with 17 seconds of fuel to spare.

Now here is the cool part. As Armstrong and Aldrin descended to the lunar surface, Collins continued his orbit around the moon and vanished. With his sightlines to both earth and the lunar landar gone, Collins was alone. On the dark side of the moon, it was literally impossible for Collins to make contact with any other human being in the universe. As he put it in his memoir, “I am alone now, truly alone, and absolutely isolated from any known life. I am it” (Collines 402). As Apollo XIII commander Jim Lovell explains in his autobiography, NASA trained its mission controllers to prepare for most any disaster when the orbiting command module reappeared on the other side of the moon. The astronaut could be dead, the ship exploded, the life support systems gone--there was no way to know if any of that had happened, and no way to help if it had  (Lovell 84-86). NASA flight director Chris Kraft would describe the 20 minutes the spacecraft spent behind the moon as “the most apprehensive time in my life” (When We Left Earth Part 3 16:20).  All Mission Control could do was wait; whatever came up, Collins would have to handle it on his own.

But here is the thing. Collins describes these moments of total isolation on the dark side of the moon not in terms of danger or stress, but in terms of confidence: “I don’t mean to deny a feeling of solitude,” he said. “I feel this powerfully--not as fear or loneliness--but as awareness, anticipation, satisfaction, confidence, almost exultation” (Collins 402).

And, indeed, Collins displayed not one ounce of panic. He handled his mission brilliantly, handled brilliantly the unexpected tasks he was handed, recovered Armstrong and Aldrin exactly on schedule and, fulfilling the last clause of President Kennedy’s famous challenge, returned them safely to earth.

This is the story I want you to think about as you walk out of here tonight. It is a story of departure, yes, and of adventure. But it is not a story of escape. No, no--it is a story of entanglement. Collins didn’t accomplish what he did because he escaped his past; he accomplished what he did by building on a life’s worth of acquired skills. He did it not by fleeing the restrictions of institutions but by enmeshing himself in an institution whose employees numbered in the hundreds of thousands. He did it by learning the intricacies of a ship built by a thousand engineers, mechanics, and pilots. His is a story of singular success achieved not through escape, but through preparation and teamwork.

So get out of here, graduates. Get out of here and explore the stars. Know that you are going to be given duties you didn’t train for and tasks you have never practiced. But know also that you’ve got the skills to handle them; you are prepared. We wouldn’t send you out there if you weren’t. Know that sometimes you are going to feel as lonely as Michael Collins when he passed behind the moon, like you are a quarter million miles from home and there is no one you can call for help. But know also that if you can just hang on for 20 minutes, your orbit will bring you back around, and, when you do, you will find thousands of us back here in Houston, ready to help. We won’t be able to complete the job for you, but we will be able to talk you through it, to let you know your position and velocity, to tell you if you are a bit off course and how to correct.

So leave here knowing that you are ready for this. Get out there, explore the stars, and then come back home and tell us what it looks like out there on the far side of the moon.